Secrets from My Macrobiotic Kitchen with Julie S. Ong

Eat better. Live better. Love better.

Category Archives: relationships


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Want an everlasting love?

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
~Virginia Woolf

Ready to embrace a “whole health” approach to your relationships? When you eat high quality foods and develop inner wisdom for optimal health and wholeness, your authentic self naturally shines through. As a result, your relationships become deeper and more intimate.

Incorporating whole foods into your diet can help to naturally boost energy, increase pleasure, and strengthen loving relationships. Here are three ways whole foods can impact your long-term relationships:

1. Whole foods nourish whole people.

Whole foods contain the all vital energy of the plant, which nourishes all levels of mind, body, and spirit. Eating organic, seasonal, locally grown vegetables and whole grains brings our bodies back into harmony with nature and its rhythms. For the best spectrum of vitamins and minerals, include a variety of vegetables in your meal plan and remember to eat the whole vegetable, including the ends and tips. This allows the energy of the entire plant to nourish your whole being – body, mind, and spirit.

2. You’re increasing energy flow to your organs.

When you eat seasonal, locally grown whole foods, you nourish and open up energy pathways in the body, which brings all organs, including your heart, back into harmony with the rhythms of nature. When your heart becomes open in a more loving way, your relationships become deeper and more intimate as well.

3. You’re building up strengthening energy in your reproductive organs.

Consider this – the more you increase energy flow to your kidneys and reproductive organs, the more strengthening energy accumulates in these organs. Now, when your reproductive organs are stronger, your overall energy and sexual vitality increases. When you’re feeling more energy and vitality, you are able to contribute to and experience the intimacy you really want.

Whole foods contain the vitality of life that contributes to health on all levels– body, mind, spirit, emotions, and relationships. A whole health regime can help reignite the spark of joy in your relationships through the natural energies of whole foods, creating deeper, more intimate relationships.


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Can sea veggies boost sexual vitality?

Want to increase intimacy in your relationship? Look no further than the food on your plate. The secret to boosting sexual vitality can be found in the healing powers of sea vegetables.

Mineral-rich sea vegetables are used in macrobiotics to strengthen the main conduit in the body, the spine. This allows universal energy to flow through the main energy centers, or “chakras,” that run up the center of the body – a simple, nutritional way to harmonize the reproductive organs and strengthen sexual vitality.

Sea vegetables have unique compounds that bind to toxins and remove them from the body, boosting overall health as well as sexual vitality. Wakame, for example, is good for the uterus and helps cleanse dairy congestion from the reproductive organs. Sea vegetables also keep blood vessels flexible and strengthen the cardiovascular system. This allows more love to flow in your relationship.

So, increase intimacy and sexual vitality by adding nutrition-packed sea veggies to soups, stews, and sautés. Use them in gravies, pickles, and beans. And use roasted sea veggies, like dulse for bacon flavor, and roasted nori for sushi. Here’s a simple recipe, using a mild tasting sea vegetable called arame:

Arame with Carrots and Red Onion

Arame nourishes the spleen, stomach, and pancreas and is especially good for female reproductive organs. Because it contains mannitol (a non-caloric sugar), this sea vegetable helps keep blood pressure and blood sugar levels balanced. For variety, include other vegetables, like green beans, corn, and beets.

Ingredients
Serves 4

1 medium red onion, half moons
1 teaspoon olive oil
1 cup arame, rinsed
1/2 cup carrots, matchsticks
1/4 cup spring water
1 tablespoon shoyu, or to taste
1/4 teaspoon mirin (rice wine), or to taste
1 tablespoon toasted sesame seeds

  1. In a frying pan, sauté onion in oil until translucent. Add arame on top of onions and carrots on top of arame. Add water and cover. Bring to boil, lower heat, and simmer 20 minutes. (If needed, add more water to prevent the pan from drying out.)
  2. Season with shoyu, stir, and continue to cook 2 minutes, uncovered.
  3. Season to taste with mirin. Garnish with toasted sesame seeds.


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All you need is love, love, love . . .

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
~ Rumi

Want a vibrant, loving relationship that lasts forever? If you desire a romantic relationship, the key may be to unlock the door to the natural flow of Love. Any barriers you create against it are out of alignment with the natural order of the Universe.

Here are three ways to reconnect with your partner and allow Love to flow:

1. Restore balance with meditation and prayer.

While blockages in your relationships can be created by eating extreme or unbalanced foods, they can also be created by merely thinking negative thoughts. In such cases, you can restore balance in your relationships by re-focusing your thoughts on Love through meditation and prayer, to realign yourself with the order of the universe.

2. Focus on the positive.

Negative thoughts, just as extreme foods, can block universal energy from flowing through meridians or energy pathways in the body. However, by focusing on positive thoughts, you can come back to center.

3. Trust your intuition.

Trusting your intuition allows you to access your higher self which will guide you toward Love. All relationships can be healed when you follow your intuition in your daily macrobiotic practice.

Removing blockages to Love’s flow is the key reconnecting not only with your partner, but also with universal energy for a healthier, balanced life.


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Want to get the glow?

A bit of lusting after someone does wonders for the skin.
~Elizabeth Hurley

Want to revitalize your sex life and get that “glow?” You may already know that eating a healthy diet and using natural products have an important impact on the quality of your skin and overall health. What you may not know is that an exfoliating body scrub boosts sexual vitality as well.

Besides removing dead skin cells and stagnated oils in pores, a full body scrub has many health benefits, including:

  • Increasing blood, lymph, and energy circulation
  • Helping the body discharge fat and toxins under the skin
  • Allowing environmental energy to flow through body
  • Relieving stress and relaxing the body
  • Helping break down fatty deposits beneath the skin
  • And improving sexual and overall vitality!

The body scrub is most effective as a cleansing aid when it’s done twice each day, in the morning and evening: Morning energy moves outward and upward. Doing a body scrub first thing in the morning activates energy flow and sexual vitality in your body. Evening energy, however, moves downward and inward, producing the tendency for rest and relaxation. So, an evening body scrub calms and relaxes you, melting and dissolving away tension and stress.

How to Get the “Glow”

To get started, all you need is a clean organic cotton wash cloth and a basin of hot water. It’s easy to take a few minutes every day to add a body scrub to your regular cleansing routine:

  1. Fill a basin with hot water. Wet an organic cotton washcloth and wring it out.
  2. Scrub your extremities in a back-and-forth direction toward the heart.
  3. Wet the washcloth again, wring it out, and move on to scrub another part of the body. Rub the cloth in a back and forth motion over the skin until it is pink.
  4. Remember to scrub your face, hands, each finger, and both feet.

A body scrub puts us in touch with universal energy and the rhythms of nature: the waxing and waning, and the upward and downward flow of the environment. When this universal energy flows through your body, not only will you get the “glow,” you will revitalize your sex life as well!

Healthy Relationship Tip

Lifestyle adjustments in addition to your body scrub routine can make a world of difference in the quality of your love life. Including some of these can help remove toxins from your body and enhance your sexual vitality:

  • Exercise helps promote perspiration and improve circulation
  • A macrobiotic diet helps discharge toxins and strengthen your overall metabolism
  • Walking a half hour in nature also removes toxins and allows your skin and lungs to breathe fresh, clean air


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Ready to put the sizzle back in your love life?

The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed.
~Jiddu Krishnamurti

Ready to put the sizzle back in your love life? Want to re-ignite the spark in the bedroom? A spicy, hot romance is closer than you think. Today, I’ll talk about three simple ways you can heal your love life naturally.

Problems arise in the body when universal energy is prevented from flowing through meridians (energy channels). Reproductive health may become compromised and this has an adverse affect on your intimate relationship. Follow these three simple “R’s” to re-kindle the romance naturally:

1. Restore balance with whole foods

A common cause of problems in the body is over consumption of extreme foods. Extreme foods, like sugar, create a roller coaster ride of a “high” which then leads to a  “crash.” Long-term chaotic spikes of highs and lows eventually deplete the body. Careful selection of whole foods, such as brown rice and vegetables, restores natural, healthy energy flow in the body. When balance is restored, all areas of your life become transformed, including your love life. Through this natural way, you can re-connect with your partner on a deeper, more profound level.

2. Rejuvenate with tea

Hydration is essential, especially in the hotter months when the heat outside and the air conditioning inside can lead to dehydration. Macrobiotic teas not only promote relaxation in mind, body, and spirit, they also help dissolve fat and cleanse mucous congestion in the body. When these blockages are removed, universal energy can flow to reproductive organs and sexual function is restored. Great macrobiotic teas include twig tea, roasted brown rice tea, roasted barley tea, and corn silk tea.

3. Revive your mojo with miso

One bowl of miso soup daily helps dissolve fat and mucous in the reproductive organs, restores energy, and improves sex drive. Barley or brown rice miso neutralizes toxins, alkalinizes the blood, and provides beneficial bacteria for the intestines. Prepare the soup with various vegetables like wakame seaweed, chopped carrots, onion, daikon, or shiitake mushrooms. Green leafy vegetables may be added when the soup is almost ready to serve. Prepare the soup in its simplest form by adding 1 teaspoon of barley miso to 1 cup of liquid.


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What makes really great sex, really great?

Sex is more than an act of pleasure, it’s the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it’s almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it. And at this moment you’re a part of them.
~Author Unknown

What makes really great sex, really great? Really great sex happens when there is a real energetic connection between a couple. This intimate spark is based on the energy each person brings to the relationship. Today, I’ll talk about three ways to amp up this energy for a more nurturing, loving relationship (and really great sex!).

A macrobiotic lifestyle is about living in harmony with nature by balancing life force energy within you and the environment. (This life force energy is called “chi” in Chinese.) By eating and cooking according to the seasons, you can connect with nature to strengthen your whole body, including the reproductive organs, from the inside out.

Eating a macrobiotic meal plan maximizes energy flow through the body, which translates to great sex. Follow these three tips to re-kindle the romance in the bedroom:

1. Avoid mucous-causing foods.

Food is intimately connected with your body’s health. Healing, balanced foods nourish physical health and energize the body, while mucous-causing foods, like sugar and white flour products, create stagnation and deplete the body’s natural state of wellness.

For example, a stream that flows without obstruction nourishes the plants downstream. However, if branches or rocks block the stream’s flow, the plants wither and die. Likewise, when the body is clean, energy can flow and sex is amazing. But when the body is clogged, the reproductive organs become stagnated and numb. When this happens, sexual vitality becomes diminished and relationships become compromised.

2. Eat heart healthy foods.

When your body is clogged from eating heavy, dense foods, like dairy products, meat, and greasy food, loving energy cannot flow; it becomes difficult for your heart to give and receive love. However, foods that support cardiac function enable your heart to open up to love and joy in your relationship. Heart healthy foods, like leafy green vegetables, have upward, expansive energy and nourish the upper part of the body. Then, love can flow outward, and sex becomes more than an act of pleasure; it becomes a richer experience of union and closeness.

3. Eat whole foods.

Whole foods are full of vital life force energy and have not been processed in any way. These foods contain grounding, stabilizing energy, which strengthens the reproductive organs as well as the body overall. For example, fresh, seasonal, locally grown vegetables picked fresh from the farm are bursting with vitality. This is the life force energy you need to cleanse your body and revitalize your reproductive organs.

A healthy meal you can eat to spice up your sex life is pressured cooked whole grains, like brown rice, with steamed vegetables and leafy greens. You can even include a bean dish as a protein source. Something so simple really strengthens your reproductive organs and brings you back to center, so you can enjoy a more satisfying, loving relationship with your partner.

The ancient Tantra traditions viewed sex as a blending of feminine and masculine energies (yin and yang), engaging universal flow of energy in a symbolic prayer or blessing. When you are in tune with natural forces and your energy flows inside and out, you are living in harmony with nature. Your relationships not only become more loving and intimate, the sex becomes really, really great.


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What is your desire?

“The desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.”
~ Madame de Stael

“Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.”
~Robert Frost

What is the sexiest organ in the body? You would be surprised to know that it is the brain. This is because the ability to imagine intimate scenarios and fantasies can be more stimulating than the sexual experience itself. Even the desire to be close to your lover activates endorphins in the brain. If you want to increase the energy of this organ, stay tuned for three simple additions to your meal plan that can enhance your sexual desire.

With more nerve cells in your gut than in the central nervous system, the intestines and brain are intimately connected. Often referred to as the second brain, the intestines can provide guidance (“gut feelings”) for the answers we are seeking. To nourish the lower half of the body, include these three simple basics:

1. Whole Grains

Whole grains contain the all vital energy of the plant, which nourishes all levels of mind, body, and spirit. Energetically balanced, whole grains are grounding and help center your whole being from the inside out, achieving peace and harmony. Thus, including whole grains in your regime not only nourishes your sexual health but also the quality of your relationship.

2. Brown Rice

Brown rice is the specific whole grain which has complete balanced carbohydrates, fats, proteins, and minerals. Its stabilizing energy helps ground the core of the body (hara region) and supports organs in the lower part of the body like the reproductive organs.

3. Pressure Cooking

Cooking also transmutes healing energy into your food. Pressure cooking whole grains like brown rice adds warming, strengthening energy which further nourishes the lower region of the body, like the intestines.

The word desire comes from Latin, meaning “from the stars,” pointing to the hidden spiritual forces behind our desires. So, amping up the energy of your brain and intestines increases not only your sexual desire but also enhances your connection to your intuitive power.


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How do I love thee?

A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
~Thomas Carlyle

Do all things with love.
~Og Mandino

Want to find love fast and keep love forever? Because expressions of love and gratitude are so important in a long term relationship, one way to jump start your love life is by reconnecting with Love. Preparing food from your heart is an ideal way to connect with loving energy, so the best time to do this is when you are washing your whole grains. To enhance your connection with Love, remember to open up your heart to joyful experiences.

The process of washing brown rice is an ideal opportunity to harmonize with Nature and revitalize loving energy. The more you cultivate Love, the more you will experience it. The love you add to your food is the secret ingredient to a long lasting, loving relationship.


Learn how to wash brown rice in this video. As you caress the grains of rice, feel love and gratitude for your food. Take a few moments to do these exercises to help you notice a shift in your energy:

  1. What sensations do you notice in your body? Is there tightness in your shoulder muscles? Or are you relaxed and at ease?
  2. What emotions are coming up for you? Are you feeling fearful or anxious? Or do you feel peaceful and loving?
  3. What thoughts are you having? Are you distracted by the past? Or are you focused on the present moment?

Remember, Love attracts Love. So, the more you express love and gratitude, the more your relationship will evolve into a deeper, richer experience, even an exciting eternal love affair.

Healthy Relationship Tip

In some languages, the word love can be expressed in many ways. For example, in Greek, there are many words for different kinds of love:

  • Eros means “passionate, romantic love” with sensuous longing, such as in dating or marriage.
  • Philia means “friendship” between family or friends.
  • Agapē means “love” in reference to general affection, such as for a good meal, one’s offspring, or one’s spouse.
  • Storge means “natural affection” used exclusively for one’s children or family.
  • Thelema means “desire,” such as to be occupied with something.

Love is the universal language that transcends time. So, to find love fast and keep love forever, start by finding how many ways you can say “I love you” to your Beloved.


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Want to rekindle your relationship?

“In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.”
~Erich Fromm

Wondering how to rekindle your relationship and spark your physical connection? Ready to try something new? It’s time to think about what you’re eating and how it affects your libido, hormones, and sex drive. There are five diets you should avoid if you want to rediscover more magic in the bedroom.

Contrary to popular belief, simply taking pills or undergoing costly surgery for a quick fix is not the answer to regaining youthful sexual energy. In fact, pills and surgery can actually weaken your kidneys and reproductive organs, depleting your sex drive. The most reliable long-term solution for a healthy libido is adhering to a macrobiotic diet and avoiding the foods that cool down your libido.

Not only is it important to choose nutritious organic whole grains and vegetables, they must also be balanced energetically. To strengthen your reproductive organs and boost sexual energy, avoid these five diets at all costs:

1. Raw Foods

Today, the raw food movement is very popular. Raw foods, like fruits, salads, and smoothies, are cleansing and cooling to the body, and refreshing in hot weather. However, if eaten long term, they can put out your “digestive fire” and disperse internal warmth. Soups and stews cooked over a flame warm you from the inside out, especially in the winter, fueling the internal fires of passion, libido, and creativity.

2. Vegan Diets

Many people believe that avoiding meat is the answer to health and long life, but it doesn’t do much for your sex drive. A vegan diet can even be ungrounded and destabilizing, if you include sugar, processed food, or poor quality fats. An all-vegetable diet has cooling properties, which can be refreshing in hot weather, but its cleansing properties can deplete your body over the long term. Depending on your condition, including warming foods, such as fish once a week, can help balance the cooling quality of vegetables.

3. Atkins-like Diets

Although the warming quality of meat helps to balance the cooling energy of vegetable ingredients, over consumption of meat—such as with diets based on the Atkins or “Cave Man” model—can cause serious health problems. Because it stimulates the adrenal glands, meat brings a jolt to the kidneys, which can weaken the reproductive organs over time and gradually lower your sex drive. A meat-centric diet can also clog your arteries and lead to impotence.

4. Lacto-ovo Vegetarian Foods

If you avoid meat but eat a lacto-ovo vegetarian diet, you’ll find that dairy and eggs can create mucous congestion in the reproductive organs. Heavy, high-fat dairy products may also lead to weight gain or obesity, which can cause reduced sex drive.

5. Yogic/Ayurvedic Diets

An Ayurvedic diet was traditionally used by yogis for meditation and to suppress sexuality. High in cooling foods, it focuses heavily on dairy products, spices, and tropical fruits. While this diet is good for those who live in tropical countries, it’s too extreme for temperate climates and can weaken sexual function.

A healthy diet not only helps to cleanse the body, it also revitalizes all of your organs and creates greater sexual energy and vibrancy. A macrobiotic diet of cooked whole grains, vegetables, and a little fish is the perfect regime to strengthen reproductive organs while warming the body from the inside out.

Healthy Relationship Tip

Redefine the word friend. A friend is literally a lover, as the root of the word friend comes from Old English, meaning to love. Even in Latin and Greek, the word for friend and I love are related. So, the next time you call someone your friend, remember that he or she is also your Beloved.


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Chew Your Way to Love

Ready to spice up your love life? We all know that chewing is an important part of healthy digestion. But did you know that how you chew can affect the quality of your relationships as well?

Chewing not only improves your digestion and reduces risks of illness and disease, it can also boost your sexual health and deepen the intensity of your relationship. This is because how you absorb foods impacts your sexual vitality. Here are 5 eating-related lifestyle adjustments you can make to improve your digestion and revive your sex life:

1. Eat at regular times

A regular mealtime schedule brings rhythm and balance to your daily routine. When your digestion functions on a predictable cycle, you are in harmony with the natural order, and your relationships with people, animals, food, and yourself are more nurturing.

2. Sit down to eat

The stress of eating on the go–running, standing, driving, doing business, concentrating, and reading–can lead to ulcers and poor digestion. Sit down to eat and avoid multi-tasking. Mindfully eating allows you to fully enjoy your meal and your partner’s company without distraction. This simple step not only improves digestion, but also cultivates gratitude for your food and relationship.

3. Chew more

Digestion begins in the mouth. Amylase enzyme in saliva breaks down carbohydrates so the body can more easily absorb them. The more you chew, the more complex carbohydrates (like brown rice) are converted into simple sugars and become naturally sweeter. Chewing foods 50-100 times not only improves digestion, it also allows you to more easily embrace the sweetness in life, including being with your partner.

4. Eat a moderate volume of food

Skipping meals, dieting, overeating, or under eating can all weaken your digestion, which becomes overworked and exhausted. Eating a moderate amount of food restores digestive function and boosts sexual vitality as you absorb more nutrients and energy.

5. Stick to whole foods

Over time, eating rich, heavy, or greasy foods, such as meat and hydrogenated oils, burdens digestion and blocks sexual function. Cooked whole foods, like leafy greens and grains, nourish digestion, help cleanse the body, and revitalize your reproductive organs.

Healthy digestion not only strengthens your body from the inside out, your relationships will become sweeter as well. Happy chewing!